Weknowthathelpingthosewhoareintroubleisalwaysregardedasatraditionalchinesemoral.Howeverpeoplehavetoknowwhentheneedisjustforsomeminority`s[mai'nrti]benefitandagainstmostpeople`sinterests,orwhenitisimmoralorillegal,peopleshouldnothesitatetosayno.ButtodayIwillnottalkaboutthis.WhatIwillsayisjustaboutourdailylife.Sometimesitisnecessarytosaynojustforourselvesaswellasforourlovedones.Forexample,whenyourbestfriendaskyoutogoshopping,butyouarereallytied.Itisoktosayno.whenyourfriendsseekyouradviceontheirclothes,itisokaytotellyourrealfellingsiftheylooknotverygoodinthoseclothes.Firstly,Iwanttotalkaboutwhytheword“no”issodifficuilttospeakout.Somepeopledonotliketosaynotoanyone.Inmyopinion,that`sbecausetheywanttomakeeveryonehappy.Theythinkiftheyrefuseothers`demonds,theywillbehatedandalienated['eiljneitid].Theyaremoreunconfidentthanwarm-hearted.Ontheotherhand,itiseasytofallintothe“ifIdon`tdoit,noonewill”trap.Yeah,sometimesthat`struebutmoreofenthannot,ifyousayno,someoneelsewillstepup.Ifwealwayssayyestoothers,wemayfellverytiredandexhausted.wemaywanttobetreatedthesameaswhatwedo;wemaytakeonavarietyofresponsibilities.Butwearenotsupermen.Sotrytosaynosometimes.Secondly,Iwanttotalkaboutthebenefitsofsayingno.Sayingnowillgivebacktoyoumoreenergyandmoretime.Thereareonly24hoursinaday,butfromnowon,moreofthemareforyou.Itgivesyoumoreconfidence.Saying"no"tootherscanoftenamounttosaying"yes"toyourself.Italsogivesyoumorecontrol.Saying"no"meansyouarebehindthesteering['stiri]wheelandcangowhereveryouwant.Youalsogainmorerespect.You'llrespectyourselfmoreandsowillothers.Theymightnotlikeyouasmuch,butiftheyweretryingtostepoveryourboundariesbefore,theyprobablydidn'tlikeyoumuch,anyway–notreally.Atleastyou'llhavetheirrespectwhenyoushowthemyourclear,no-discussionlimits.Allinall,morefun.Yes,lifeisheretobeenjoyed.Whenyoustopworkingforothers,youstartworkingforyourselfandstartfittinginthefun.Thirdly,I`llsharehowtotactfullysayno.Doessayingnotosomanyrequestssoundharsh?Youcanputitmildly.Forexample,youcansay:Iamtryingtofocusonfinishingoffsomeotherthings.Sorrybutitisn`tmystrongsuit.Thatistosay,I`mnotgoodatit.Iamsorry,butIhaveanemergencytoattendto.Ifnecessary,youcansaydirectly:Ireallydon`tenjoydoingthatkindofactivity.Atlast,Iwanttosay,wemustconsidertheimportanceofrequestscarefully.
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