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剑7作文求意见和修改,哪怕大致看下给个分也好,不剩感激.Asmostpeoplespendamajorpartoftheiradultlifeatwork,jobsatisfactionisanimportantelementofindividualwellbeing.Whatfactorscontributetojobsatisfaction?How
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更新时间:2024-03-28
问题描述:

剑7作文求意见和修改,哪怕大致看下给个分也好,不剩感激.

Asmostpeoplespendamajorpartoftheiradultlifeatwork,jobsatisfactionisanimportantelementofindividualwellbeing.

Whatfactorscontributetojobsatisfaction?

Howrealisticistheexpectationofjobsatisfactionforallworkers?

Thefeelingandmoodduringworkingtime,whichpeoplespendmostoftheirlifetimeon,wouldtolargedegreedeterminepeople’squalityoflife.Therefore,jobsatisfactionisconsideredanimportantfactorcontributingtoindividualwellbeing.

Thereareplentyoffactorscontributingtojobsatisfaction.Moreover,todifferenttypeofpeople,thedominatingfactorsvaryfromonetoanother.Severalfactorsarequitecommontothemajorityandsharedbylargeamountofworkers.Thefirstfactormaybetheachievementgained.Undoubtedly,landmarksofachievementsareareasonableindicatortomeasurehowwellanindividualisworking.Newideas,innovativeimprovementsandcompetitionprizesallbringsatisfactiontoindividualforhisjob.Anotherimportantfactoristherelationshipdevelopedwithcolleagues.Asurveyshowsthataharmoniousatmosphereinworkplacewillincreaseproductivityandhelpdeveloprelationshipamongco-workers,therebypromotingthesenseofsatisfaction.Peopleenjoyworkingonlywhentheyliketalkingandcooperatingwithteammembers.Doyoumindwhatothersthinkofyou?Thisquestionleadtothethirdfactor–commentsfromotherpeoplearoundonthejob.Imagine,ifyourboss,parentsandchildrenallpraiseyourjob,youprobablyfeelsatisfiedandarewillingtocontinuewithcurrentwork.Incontrast,youwouldfeelfrustratedprovidedthatallfeedbacksfromthemarenegative.

Ideally,everyonewouldliketohaveajobwithhighsalary,leastpressureandworkingtime,andhighestreputation,whichisnotrealistic.Inmyopinion,thegeneralexpectationisalwaystoohighthatnoteachofworkerscangetwhattheywant.Inotherwords,theexpectationbeyondrealconditionisonefactorthatmakesjobunsatisfactorymostoftime.Mysuggestionwouldbethatberealisticandrationalwhensettingtheobjectivesofjob.Inthiscase,you’llfindyourcareerisactuallyquiteinterestingandworthyoureffortsandtime.

任宗金回答:
  首先,结构方面是没有问题的,开头,body段,结尾都很完整.不过建议你把Thereareplentyoffactorscontributingtojobsatisfaction.Moreover,todifferenttypeofpeople,thedominatingfactorsvaryfromonetoanother.Severalfactorsarequitecommontothemajorityandsharedbylargeamountofworkers.这几句话放到第一段去,做一个比较完整的开头背景介绍.   语言方面,大的问题没有,可小问题也不少.你可能自己还需要再看一看,修改一下.   说几个比较明显的吧:   1.另外有些地方是不是太绝对了呢?Peopleenjoyworkingonlywhentheyliketalkingandcooperatingwithteammembers.把only换成almosttime...会不会好一点呢?   2.有些句子是有问题的.Ideally,everyonewouldliketohaveajobwithhighsalary,leastpressureandworkingtime,andhighestreputation,whichisnotrealistic....which指的是什么?thisthoughtorthiskindofjob?   整篇看下来..洋洋洒洒一大篇...写得还不错...应该是5.5左右.   不过好像现在雅思的作文很少考这种形式了...一般都是agreeordisagree吧..
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